braavado | IC CONTACT (FOR HAVEN)

[Korra doesn't let go even after Rose has relaxed and hugged her back.]

I'll make sure it hurts. He's a jerk for doing all of that to you.

[And...now the part that she wanted to say in person.]

It's not your fault, you know.

[ Rose pulls away, tilting her head. She doesn't want to reject that assurance (she needs it) but at the same time, she does think it's blatantly untrue. ]

It kind of is. They're still dead.

You said you don't remember a lot of it. When you killed.

[Korra doesn't try to keep her there, but she doesn't move away either.]

The drug he put in you messed around with you. Didn't you say that?

Yeah but — [ she should have fought. She metabolised it faster when they were on the job, and she built up a tolerance - she just should have fought harder ] that's...

It's my fault. Why don't you get that?

[Korra just looks at her, feeling like she might be understanding this, and herself, a little better, too. Something's finally clicking for her.]

Do you want me to blame you?

Yes!

[ She backs away a few steps, not meeting Korra's eyes. ]

Everyone does! Why don't you?

Because... I know how you feel. Or...something like it, even though it's nothing as bad as what you had to go through.

[It was Yao Corp, not her dad who had put her in that situation, but it had still hurt a lot.]

Would you blame me if...Yao Corp controlled me into killing someone here?

[ She has her hackles raised, still, but Rose never could ignore someone in pain, especially if that she is coming to consider that someone a friend. ]

No. Of course not. That's their shitty decision and they should pay for that.

[ She should say something else: her situation was different, she remembered, or something, just. She can't handle the idea of not being at fault. ]

Then why can't you say the same about yourself?

[Korra sighs, looking away, too. Her voice is soft when she speaks again.]

I...I get it. I don't know if it's the same for you, but when I woke up covered in Wan's blood, and he was just right there, bleeding to death because of me... [She swallows hard, voice small.] Wan's told me it's not my fault, but I keep thinking, maybe if I'd fought harder, resisted whatever it was more, then he wouldn't have had to die like that.

I still can't forgive myself for it. But I can tell someone who's going through something like it that they should.

[She breathes in and forces herself to look at Rose.] If the drugs made you forget yourself, then what happened wasn't your fault, Rose. I can't blame you for any of it.

[ Korra's not finished talking but the moment she gets to the part where she woke up covered in blood Rose is hugging her, tightly, drowning out that memory with the force of everything she can give. ]

I don't... really do forgiveness, Korra. [ it implies she's been hurt, and that's weakness ] I'm not really [ a good person ] the type. You could, though.

[ She doesn't talk about the day the Black Lanterns came to look for her father, seeking vengeance for his deeds, and that no one had come looking for her. She's not giving anyone that fuel. ]

Did you know I was assigned to kill Kent? Not the one here, in my world. He said - the same thing.

[ She still can't understand why. ]

I guess I'm not very good at forgiveness, when it comes to myself either.

[It's hard to admit, but she's been aware of it for some time now, just never voiced it. Giving the advice to someone else is always easier than letting go of something yourself.

The hug is unexpected, but Korra's glad of it, circling her arms around Rose and returning it once she's over the surprise.] But maybe...we can do it for each other. That's what friends are supposed to do--support each other when we can't get through something on our own.

[Korra smiles, though Rose probably can't see it.]

Kal's a smart guy. You should probably listen to him.

Maybe we should make a club. I'll forgive you if you forgive me.

[ There's no way it's that easy for either of them, but Rose doesn't mind pretending. Sometimes the illusion that sustained you was better than the truth. ]

[ Teasing, ] He's a grownup. They don't know anything.

I kind of like the sound of that.

[Even if it doesn't work, at least they'll know they have the support. That's what counts in the end.

And then she's grinning.]

Right, I forgot. They just like pretending they know things. But we know the truth.

We sure do.

[ She finally breaks the hug, and bumps Korra's shoulder. Here's where she'd make a snide remark to undermine the fact that she just showed physical affection to somebody, but she doesn't feel the need. Korra forgives her. Korra's a friend. ]

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